Which is yet to be discussed
by Pinguin1993
Summary: Don makes a test to confirm their ages. And finds out: Mike is actually the oldest brother! What effects will this have on the family? Will Mike take the leader role from Leo? Funny. Mikey POV. Rated for language.
1. An inconvenient truth

_And it's been good the was it was  
And it's been good the way it was  
And it's been good the way it was  
But is it really this bad now?_

* * *

_Written out of simple boredom- I just went out of the shower and the plot bunny hit me. So sorry if it's a bit scrambled 'n stuff.  
Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, but __I do have pictures of 'em in my room. (: .. Okay so I haven't but .. Aargh! Stop looking at me like this, I'm just an author's note!  
Be sure to Read, Review and read my other stories too. (:  
This one is before the '03 series start. The turtles are 14 not about 17 and so some things have yet to be discussed..._

* * *

"This is just not possible!"

Wow. This was a first. I can barely remember to have Donnie seen screaming. Ever. And ever is a long time if you are a mutated turtle living in a sewer system with barely enough room for you and your brothers. You can't get out and so you've got them around you. All the time. For 14 years. ALL THE TIME. With NO way out. No partys, no sleepovers, no "locking yourself in your room", no NOTHING.  
Hey, I am Hamato Michelangelo. I am a serious, good-looking, smart, good-looking, skilled and good-looking mutated turtle. I love the colour orange and comicbooks. And I love my cat Klunk. And I love my family. And I love my bed. And I love _food._  
Right now, I'm on my way to the kitchen to have some. Since I am the only one in the family who can actually cook something different than tea and bowls with cereals, I have ta do it. I like it, of course, but people hardly ever notice because we are eating pizza most of the time anyway.

So I'm walking down the steps like, well, every day, and I whistle a little song, just like every day, and Leo is in the dojo arguing with Raph like every day and Master Splinter is watching his soaps like he does every day and Donnie is in his lab and screams and seems frustrated just like.. Well, just like not every day.

So of course everyone lets whatever he does be and runs over to the lab. I am there last, probably because I don't want to be the one to blame if something exploded again.  
Yes, again, because something is exploding every day in here. It's not as if I was the only one to break things. Raphie-boy throws his sai into something every chance he gets (I know this perfectly well because most of the time, it's me). Sensei breaks the shellcell every time he tries to use it (no offense). I mean, even Leo, who can catch a falling water glass from a ten feet distance in a room pitch black and with noises in the background- even Leo manages to blow up the microwave. Or the toaster, or the fridge, it depends.

So I was last to come to the room but still only half a second behind the others, timing perfect as always.

Donnie is staring wide-eyed at a sheet of paper in his hands printed with some codes and lines and blurry shades in different colours. He does not seem to be aware of us standing there and staring at him. I manage to eye around casually- no smoke, no steam, no red blinking warning lights. Seems like nothing is going to explode this time. Despite Donnie's head, I mean. He is red as a green turtle face under a purple bandana can be.

Then Splinter raises his voice and calls him back to earth. "My son. What is the matter?" He probably just wanted to get this over quickly so he could return to his soaps. Otherwise I cannot explain the fact that he just smiles, nods absent mindedly and leaves right after Don shakes his head nothing.  
Leo and Raph shrugg and leave as well. I can hear them fighting already even before they have left the hallway. Am I the only one anxious here? Well, I am probably the only one who has just spotted his name on the sheet of paper Donnie is so upset about, but hey!

My darling older brother then spots me at the doorframe and makes a face as if a snake had just bitten him into his a... his foot. Nice. Really, really charming. It's nothing new to me- as a youngest brother I have to play the scapegoat all the time- but still, it hurts. I choose to ask him anyway.  
"Whatcha doing?" I ask him smiling. He still looks as if he had just bitten into a very, very sour lemon. Now it's just ridiculous. He doesn't answer though. So I try again, snapping my fingers in front of him. This time he hides the paper behind his back as if he had just seen me standing there. Oh well, _very nice, Donster, nobody could have possibly seen _this. "Nothing" he says far too quick and then closes the door right in front of me. I hear him muttering about some tests and then a computer humming. But I don't care. Shutting a door into my face? Yeah, I can return that. Now I won't make food for him. I'll order pizza instead. MY favourite pizza.

_Chocolate flakes - sardines- anchovis- onion- noodle- swiss cheese- pizza with extra garlic and chili _aka the_ ultimate brainmelt._ Ha, ha, hahahahahaha. This is what you get from annoying me. I don't throw sai, I am much more.. subtle.

One hour later everyone is far more green than usual and even I feel a little sick in my stomach. But you know something? It is _so _worth it.  
So while everyone is busy using the bathroom it's time for me to have a look at what Donster is working on and what it has to do with me.

Whistling again- a _man in black _song this time- I approach Donatello's room and - after looking around me one last time- spy in. It stuns me as it does every time I enter it (which is far more often than Don actually thinks). Blinking lights and machines and computers are everywhere. You can barely walk here without touching or kicking some metal parts or tools of some sort. There are papers everywhere with notes like _for engineers only _or _stay away, Leo _or- most often- _Mikey, if you touch it, you are SO dead._ The perfect signs for me which one is best to play with. But today I am on a mission.  
I spot the paper on a table to my left and manage to get there without messing the room up too much. You would not believe it but Don actually understands this chaos. He told me about it once- the chaos theory- and even though it really _was _interesting; did he have to do it during my favourite cartoon?! So I did not get much of it.

Then I close my fist around the precious paper- there are four, actually, but since I am already here I just grab them all- and leave using the same footspots I came with. Once I close the door behind me, I look around me once more and- whistling again- go back to my own room one store above. Oh man, I would make the perfect special agent.  
Then I look through the pages and _freeze. _What is this? So okay most of it is just senseless codes and signs (sometimes I can't get rid of the feeling that Don actually just prints some of these onto his notes so they look professional). But from what I get from the data written in english ...  
He did some tests with our cells and...  
Checked our age.  
Cool! I mean, we all know that I am the youngest, then comes Don, then Raph and finally Leo which is why he is the leader and serious and stuff. But my braniac brother checked anyway. Maybe just to see if there was a chance to actually be older than Raph.

And he found out... Oh, man.

"This is just not possible!"  
Hell yes, when I say it it's so much more dramatic and cool. Because I actually say it with some feelings and..  
In the doorframe my brothers come together with sensei. Now they really look .. pissed. Whoops.

"What now, baby brother" Raph says annoyed. I see Don flinch just the tiniest bit- because he knows, I suddenly understand, and he did not tell me! I will have to play a prank on him for this. Right now, I just present a shocked and innocent face and throw Leo the paper.

"What, Mikey?" He sounds angry, too. Then he looks at the sheet of paper. Frowns. Looks at me. I still play innocent but have a hard time not grinning. He reads the paper again. And again. I can almost see the gearwheels in his had rattle when he consideres that I faked this, then looks at the numbers and signs and then at Don. Only to read the paper again.

"So what is it this time? Seems ta be bad" Raph says watching my reactions. I give him puppy-eyes too and he frowns, reaching out for the paper before simply ripping it off Leo's hands. Reading it. Again. Again. Now it should get boring after some time but hell, it is not.

Finally Don gets the clue and screams, ripping the paper away from his brother and shouting at me. Splinter somewhen tells him to stop and go let off some steam in the dojo. Leo follows him to make sure everything's gonna be okay and Splinter leaves as well, deep in thoughts. Only Raph remains, looking at me anxiously.  
"So, what now" he saks.

"Maybe you should consider following them, _baby brother" _I answer. And this time, I don't hold back the grin.  
And for the first (and probably last, since he still has a shock) time in my life Raph listens to me and leaves.

_____________________________________________________________  
_13376r3641 63 bbbh71tge6526093uj 783wui837üßjfs  
1i7tgbdoai7346523ß8hndf62 ::::bn d::::_

Last test - 2000

**Results**

_81z73gb7tqbdo887z3hn udhgsn- -kmion--,; ljn  
7127t54478o926tgr0ßjmdo0832zhgs62r1 8z67tgrbifs7 37gdb_

Listing family members according to age

4. Raphael  
3. Donatello  
2. Leonardo  
1. Michelangelo

_82z4r86gbwaiost2gebdnliolb 7tegwvblis_

**Examining results**

_powzt9ogfbvsn98ygb24274ghb 7qtgbd::nohdnö noö--93tr6tu_

**Examination complete- results confirmed  
Test finished  
**

**

* * *

**_One chapter finished, two more to go. More tomorrow or- since I then update my story "What would have happened, if..", the day after tomorrow. R&R? :-)  
Oh hell it is fun to write this._


	2. A test and astonishment

_And it's been good the way it was  
And it's been good the way it was  
And it's been good the way it was  
But am I this bad, now that I'm in charge?_

* * *

_Second chapter. One more to go. Hopefully, someone will review soon. (;  
Mikey, after his discovery, is called to talk to master Splinter and desperately tries to be serious for the first time of his life.._

* * *

I can not believe it! Me, the oldest turtle?!  
I mean, sure. It has always been clear that there can not be more than a few weeks between us, if at all. We were all babys when Sensei found us in the sewers and we grew up all the same. But we have always considered that Leo was the oldest, simply because he tried hardest and he had this mother hen instinct, always trying to protect us. Which is why he was called to be the leader. Which is why he trained hardest, pushed himself the most, meditated every day since he learned how, knows how to use every single weapon we have. I have always considered Raph to be the strongest- but he is just too much a hot-headed teenager. Don is the smartest, of course, but he never intended to be looked up to. Leo is fastest and most skilled. And I am..

Well, I hate to admit it, but I am the distraction.  
The unfocused, annoying, playful, little brother. This has always been my role.

But guess what, I can be serious. And right now all my life is flashing before my inner eye and shows me what I did wrong. Because since I am oldest now..  
I have to take responsibility.  
Better to start training right away. If I have to protect everyone now, I will have to study much harder than I did until now...

Immediately, I start some sit-ups.  
Only to find out that in my room, there is just not enough space for it.  
I mean, I have shelves and stuff. I just don't really put my things into them. But what kind of leader has a room like this?! I remember Leo's room- all tidied up and clean and categorized. Mine? Not so much. More like the chaos theory decided to try itself out in this chamber.  
Okay, stop the sit-ups, I need to clean up this mess! If I am not able to have my own room tidy, how am I supposed to go through battles without leaving a mess behind?!

But where to start? Oh man, this is just too much..  
First thing I do is putting everything from my shelves to the floor. Now I have room to put everything in in order- but it is harder than I thought since now there is no floor anymore. Everything is everywhere. I grab a bunch of Silver Century Comics nearby and place them where they should be- right in front of my eyes where I can see them whenever I leave and enter the room. Next are the Micky Mouse Comicbooks- yes, I like Micky, I admit it! Then the various magazines and comics that I just have because the covers were nice- where to put these... A cloud of dust escapes from where they have been buried for at least two month now. I have to sneeze and rub my eyes but go on anyway. These go right on top of the shelf- from where another dustcloud attacks me. Man, how do my brothers deal with this regulary??

Finally, I have cleared up an amount of floor big enough to.. stand on it. Great. This can take some time. Just go on to the next bunch of papers and.. EEEWWW!!  
Gross factor 10000²!! What the shell is this... Round.. green-grey.. glibberish... thing.. with half-rotten paper around it...  
Oh. A Pizza. Wow. This one looks as if it could actually make lots of money at because it has to be a historical peace of food. I wonder if it still tastes okay...

"Michelangelo! What are you doing!"

YIKES! Sensei in my doorframe and I am about to eat a pizza from, like, 1950! Not a good thing for a future ninja leader, I would guess..?

"Uh." Yes, this sure helps to lighten up the situation. "Uh, I tidy up, sensei?"  
"You.." Splinter looks around him, his eyeridges so high up if he had hair (other than his fur I mean) they would've disappeared by now. "You tidy up?" He tries not to, but he sounds bemused. I follow his gaze. Oh. Maybe it does not really look like tidied up. Dustclouds are everywhere, and all the things formerly placed in the rags are now on the ground. And I have in my hand some food matching my skin colour that looks as if it wants to eat _me _anytime soon. Hm.  
It is then that Master Splinter lets out a sigh and turnes around. "Wash your hands and come to my room, my son" he insists and leaves. I quickly drop everything (and of course, the pizza lands upside down, just great) and do as I was told. Then I slide through the paperish green doors of sensei's private rooms (not for the first time I notice it's the biggest one we have).

"Sensei?" I ask, approaching him. I then hear the slightest _crack _from behind my back like wood being walked on and instinctively _duck_.  
Donnie lands right behind me, Bo staff ready and aimed at my head. But he does not attack but instead smirks as he watches something right behind me approaching..  
Now I know what is played here. It's a test. Then it's time to turn the table around. (Wow, what an alliteration!!!) Or, you know what I mean. Make it look as if I was testing _them._

I duck again and at the same time turn around. With one swift movement I have knocked Raph's legs out under his body and he falls to the ground. The sound is very refreshing to me. "Nice try, Raphael, but too obvious", I mock him. "Donatello, try to control your mimic or else the enemy will foresee what you plan!"  
Now comes the hard part. Leo is waiting in the dimly lit room somewhere in the shadows. And if I don't come up with a good idea _fast, _that will be it with my test.

So, I take two steps backwards and turn on every light in the room.  
In an instant, I spot Leo's hiding place which was between the beams of the ceiling. Because as I turned on the light he hid his face with his hands and promptly fell down onto sensei's bed. It is so funny I'd love to laugh out now but I have to play my role until the bitter end.  
"Leonardo. Always expect your enemies to do the unexpected. They will not fight fair in battle. Be aware of that fact."  
All the time I try my best "strict teacher teaches you a lesson" voice. Once I am finished, I drop my guard though and half expect Leo to make an angry face and Don to laugh and Raph to call me a bonehead. But instead, they just look at me.. startled.  
Wow. I must have been really good.  
Is this how Leo feels all the time? because if he does, I can SO understand why he refuses to back away and wants to be the leader all the time. Wow.

"Michelangelo" Splinter adresses me from the back of the room and I think _okay, funtime is over, here comes the evil warlord _and give him a respectful bow just as Leo does all the time. (Okay just as anyone but me does all the time.)  
"Very well, my son", sensei wents on and I flinch, just to open my eyes again wide when I take in what he did just say. Very well? I have last heard that when.. Well.. After I boke a cake a month ago. I think.

"I do my best, sensei" I answer automatically. Still, none of my brothers is moving. It starts getting on my nerves though so I do another bow and face our Master again. "Was there some matter to be discussed, sensei?" I add. Wow. Those doctor and samurai movies rock for respectful speech.  
"Well, no, my son" Splinter says surprised. I nod and smile the tiniest bit. "Will you excuse me then, I have to order my belongings" I go on. Everyone nods in response and I turn, grab a garbage bag from the kitchen and return to my room. I can hear a startled Raph ask "he tidies up his room?!" and a confused Don murmur something in response, then I am out of hearing radius. And I let the wildest grin spread over my face as I enter my room and laugh, laugh, laugh because this situation is

simply

and

overwhelmingly

wonderful.


	3. A training day leads to bewilderment

_And it's been good the way it was  
And it's been good the way it was  
And it's been good the way it was  
And now it's different. But funny nevertheless._

* * *

___After astonishing his family with the truth that he actually can be serious, Mikey returns to tidy up his messy room. He then has an idea of how to teach his brothers the importance of harmony and solidarity. But it is more dangerous than he would have imagined...  
I know I said that this one is only to have 3 chapters but I think I might need four...  
And I just realized that in chapter 1 I wrote about Klunk but he is actually not there yet.. Well. Doesn't matter, I guess. Call it artistic license.

* * *

_I'm still laughing when I enter my room only to breathe in a heavy dustcloud and cough like crazy. But I still can't stop. This is the first time as long as I can think back in time that none of my brothers looked annoyed or angry or disappointed when he saw me. The first time ever that nobody (tried to) hit me or stop me from talking. The first time that nobody laughed about me.  
I know this may sound mean now but you know something? Being the ridiculous one all the time is very, very hard. And here I am finding out that all it took me was one small sheet of paper. I don't think I ever felt this good in my entire life.

Nothing stops me from whistling and dancing through the room while I clean up. Not the hot chocolate blotch on my fifth-favourite comicbook. Not the fact that my best pencil has broken in halves and lays under the bed. Not even the "I'm gonna eat you"-Pizza on the floor. I am happy. Tears come strolling down my face, both from the dust in my eyes and the laughter, but I don't wipe them away. When was the last time I had been laughing like this? Despite the day when we celebrated Raphie's 13th birthday and I gave him one of those boxes where something jumps out when you open it. I put a spider in there. It was the most ridiculous thing I've ever... but I digress...

When my room is cleaned up, I have lost the time. It could have been the next day without me noticing it. But my stomach growls only a slight bit more than this morning so it can't be much after midday.  
Which reminds me. This morning I went down to eat something. Then I got this funny pizza with which I grossed everyone out. And now.. I am in charge.  
Wow. This morning seems a lifetime away. No, I am just melodramatic. But I am still hungry and I think now would be a great time to finally cook something.

From my doorframe I can see one of our million clocks. It is about 15 o'clock. More than late for some food. I will just see what the fridge has to give me and then mix up something nice for everyone, so...

"Michelangelo."  
I fight back a scream as I always do when Sensei appears behind me like that and turn around. For a brief second I stare at him, mind blank, then I remember my new role and do a quick bow. "Yes, Sensei?" Again, my best actor voice. Man, I should get an own TV show.  
"I think it is time for you to tell us about your training strategies for today, my son", Splinter explains. I am startled. I do have to do whaddidyajustsay? Training? Uh. Well. This could be.. interesting.

Sensei still waits for an answer and I really can't do anything but improvise. "Oh, right, the training. Well, if you could call my brothers for a quick meeting I can show you what I thought about.." I start blubbling senseless things while I try to make them sound important. I don't think Splinter buys it but he smiles at me nevertheless. "Well, my son. And where shall we meet today?"  
My mind is currently filled with other things- I am thinking about the ingredients I need for a tiramisu- so I say what comes into my mind first. "Kitchen, sensei."  
We both are startled but I try to smile at him to mask it. "The.. kitchen, my son?" he asks and I confirm it with a nod. "Yes, sure, sensei. The.. kitchen..."  
Oh shell. What am I doing? What the hell am I doing here?!

There is no time to think about it. Still smiling, I quickly pass our sensei and head for the kitchen myself. I need to prepare something to make it look like I have an idea of what I am trying to do! And I really wanted to do this tiramisu today. You know, I like cooking. I really do. The kitchen is my place, almost like a second home. I am there more often than even in front of the TV. And I wanted to do tiramisu and instead I have to train my brothers who think I am crazy and good-for-nothing!!

...Wait a second.

As fast as I can I wash my dusty hands in the sink and pull open the fridge. Yes, everything is where it should be. The cupboard.. Checked. I have barely enough time to pull out a mixer and a big bowl along with scales when my brothers enter. This time the look on their faces is more familiar- they grin and eventually push each other slightly with their ellbows when they see me. But the laughing will soon disappear from their faces, because here comes serious Mikey!  
I put on my Leo face. Don sees it and grins even wider because he has seen me do this a thousand times when our (ex)leader was not there. Raph rises one eyeridge. Leo frowns.  
"So, here we are, oh new big brother", Raph says. "Whaddoya want?"  
He still can't stop mocking me. Somehow, all my reserve just vanishes at this sight. For a moment my mind is blank, and then I think _okay, this is your day, Mike. Don't let him destroy this moment. This is the one time you can prove you are worth more than a punching bag._

I can feel my face harden as I approach my now youngest brother. This time it is not just simple acting. I am dead serious. I want this stupid hotheaded brother of mine to accept and respect me just this one day. And so, when I am only inches away from his face, I stop and simply stare him down.  
At first he grins a little. Then the smile slowly drops from his face like water floating off. It is hilarious but I am not changing my expression. I hear Don shift uneasily behind me but don't move. I just stare  
Raph  
down.  
Finally he looks away. "All right, all right" he growls. Triumphant, I turn around and walk over to the table again. When no one can see it, I smile again but when I face them I am serious again. "Today", I examine, "we cook."

There is silence in the room. I know they would laugh but after what just happened no one dares. They are just.. surprised.  
"I am not sure Master Splinter would appreciate this" Leo sure says after some seconds. This is so typical. Even Don rolls his eyes behind L's back. _Teachers pet, even now, _I can't help but think. But I show nothing of it in my expression (I think). "I am sure on the other hand that _I _am in charge for training today", I answer. Wow. My voice sounds icy. Just like princess Lea's voice sounds in Star Wars when she talks to an evil ex-boyfriend aka Darth Vader... So cool!!

Then I smile again. In my head a plan is forming. Still everything is blank space besides my new ideas. So this is what focussing is all about? Trying not to be laughed at? Easy enough!  
"So, today we will make a tiramisu. Who can tell me what we need for one?"  
I can see Leo shift uneasy now. He does not like the kitchen, and I know it. It is the only place where he is just the child he is, with all the mistakes. It is all part of my plan.  
Don frowns when he tries to remember a complete tiramisu recipe. I can't help but smile wider. Don really is my best pal in the family and he is great and friendly and clever and everything, but sometimes he thinks too much. "Take it easy", I tell him. "One step at a time. I made tiramisu before. You ate it. What was in it?"

Raph answers first. "Milk?" It is more like a question, but I nod nontheless. "Coffee", Don says. Of course the addict would remember the coffee. "Sugar", Leo adds just to have said something. Now piece by peace my brothers remember the ingredients and it is just sooo cool to watch because it is me who made this happen.

"Fine", I finally say when nobody knows more. "So, let's start. Someone take the milk and butter from the fridge please..."

Leo is nearest to the fridge and so he walks over. I can see Donnie freeze when his brother approaches the white metal door and Raph close his eyes. Sure it is ridiculous, but still they think the machine could blow up from Leo touching it. I sigh.

"Stop."  
Leo freezes and then turns to face me, confused now. I go on. "Don, why do you look at him like this? Raph why are your eyes closed?"  
The two shrugg a little and stare at their feet before Raph finally murmurs something I can't understand. "What?" I demand. "Because we are afraid it could explode", Donnie admits. I can see from the corner of my eyes that Leo is hurt a little but has to admit they could be right. But I am not ready yet. "Tell me then, bro" I say, "Whi didn't you stop him before I did? Why did you not take the milk instead? Because Leo could get hurt when something as big as the fridge explodes or am I wrong?" Don shruggs again and finally says "I guess so. Sorry, bro".

I have to admit I do not like this part. I thought we were going to have a lot of fun in the kitchen but training is more than a game. Wow. First time I realize that if I really were to become the leader now I would have to do this regulary. This sucks.

But finally something near to fun develops. When Don gets flour in the face, for example, or when Raph tries to use the mixer. I would love to taste the food but tell myself no and my mood darkens from minute to minute. But I don't show it. Actually, my bros are kinda cute like this.  
And in the end they even get the hint of the teamwork cooking has to be. They move out of each others way, reach the butter across the table, wipe away the blotches on the shelf or the sugar on the floor while the others go on mixing and cutting and laughing. I just watch them and smile. In the end I am the only one without dough in the face. And I hate to admit it but this makes me sad. I know they would never help me cooking if it wasn't for _training._ And I know that the next time I do it, I'll be here alone.

And after two hours Sensei walks in and asks if he could see the results of our meeting and Leo shows him the food. And they all smile. And clap my back. And say things like "best training in a long time", even Leo, though he normally organizes our practise. And it feels almost all right to me. But not everything.  
Suddenly I wish the paper was gone, the stupid paper with our names written on it. I don't want to be the oldest. I want to be the youngest who makes the others laugh. Even though it means they don't care about what I try to say anymore.

That night I can't sleep. As a continuation of the training the three cleaned up the kitchen afterwards while I had to tell sensei what I thought they had learned today. And I try and use my new strict voice and everything, but I just realize that I am not Leo. I am just not good at sitting still and listening to laughter in the distance. I want to be the reason for the laughter. And even though I sometimes have bruises where Raph hits me on the head and though I sometimes feel like crying, I miss it.

All of a sudden,  
I don't want to be  
Leo anymore. I don't  
want to be in charge anymore.  
I just want everything to be normal again.


	4. A sleepless night and a sheet of paper

_And it's been good the way it was  
And it's been good the way it was  
And it's been good the way it was  
.. I want it back

* * *

I am really, REALLY glad you guys like it, especially that you think my language is okay. Since I am from germany, this makes me proud. *smiles*  
__Nala162024: It really is? Oh, I missed this, it's been a long time.. Sorry, everyone... And thank you for all your wonderful reviews (:  
This is going to be the last chapter. At first I had wanted to make a oneshot but I knew me too well (Me + short texts = impossible) and so I decided it should have 3 Chappies- introduction, Middle, Epilogue. But it did not work this way.. So this is how the story ends. (: I still think about a little bonus chapter but we'll see.  
Enjoy!

* * *

_This is a zombie.  
Not me.  
Definately not me.

It is 04:32 in the morning and I am in the bathroom. I did not _not _sleep well that night, that is not it- I simply did not sleep at all. And now I see myself in the mirror above the sink and all I can think of is _what the shell_.

I really look like those monsters in the video games. Big, and I mean BIG holes below my eyes which are a little red as well. My face looks like a balloon without air. I mean- are that _wrinkles _on my forehead? What happened? I am in charge for, like, one day and I already aged 20 years?! How does Leo do this all the time? How does he _stand _it?  
Then I got an idea. On TV there was this ad lately about "you got old skin? Try this body milk and our new face foundation" and such stuff. Of course I found it ridiculous that day but you know something- to not look like sensei when he comes out of bed I would do almost everything. And Leo would do, too. So he has to have something hidden here which can help my skin back to its soft, cute, baby-bum-like state!!!

It is 05:17 in the morning and I still look like a zombie, only with the added touch of black colour in my face. I accidentally came over Donnie's motor oil stocks. Great. Now I look not only like a monster but like one with lepra.

I give up and spent the next ten minutes washing my head and hands. I know that the others- or Leo, at least- are already up and waiting for me. Probably talking about me. But then again, since I am supposed to wake them up, they probably still sleep tight. I wish I could. But I have to think about training today and...  
Hey. Am I crying?  
Oh, Michelangelo, come on. You are the oldest brother. This is ridi- ridi-- ridiculooouuuuuuussssssssss...

I don't know how long I just sat there on the closet toilet and cried my eyes out. But eventually Don comes in. And he understands immediately- because he is a genius, probably, but also because he is my best friend. I said it before and I'll do it again- if there is one turtle in my family I tell everything, it's him. Of course, if it is too bad, he tells Sensei anyway. But still.

And so he just huggs me tight and holds me there until my sobs stop and I finally am able to look at him.

"I am ss.. sorry" I say between little hick-ups. I can't think of anything else to say. For a brief second the question crosses my mind what he is doing here this early, but then again, it's Don. The coffee addict. He probably even slept less than me (if this is possible).

"It's alrght" he shshs me. "No need to worry..." His voice trails off and I cling to his chest tight because I need the comfort. Oh my god, one day without attention- or, not really without it, but with the wrong kind of it- and I already act like a total idiot. Who I probably am. But still.  
"It's a tough job, huh", he finally goes on and I not, still sniffing. "Being the oldest and in charge and having to do all the things we take for normal or granted..." He shakes his head ruefully. "Poor Leo." I nod again and the thought crosses my mind if this situation happens more often to Donnie. All of a sudden I can see it clearly- him, at the same time, here with a turtle clung to him and crying. But not me. A turtle with skin like grass...

I almost start to cry all over again because I know what I am about to ask Don is shelfish and mean and it will force Leo to take responsibility again. But I can't help it.  
"Don.. Can't we.. Can't you do anything...?"

And he understands, just like I knew he would. And he stands up and nods and leaves, just as I knew he would. And he gives me some time for myself, does not offer me to come with him, leaves me there on the cold bathroom floor looking like the monster I feel I am. Because of me, Hamato Leonardo will be in charge again before the sun sets tonight. And he will like it and have little fights with Raph about it and will talk to Master Splinter and train hard and do everything he did until now. And sometimes, when he can be sure no one is watching, he will come to this small room with the white walls and cry. And it will be my fault, my package to carry. And all I can think of right now is how glad I am this is not me. And I hate myself for it.

Eventually, I stand up. Don is already at the kitchen again, drinking coffee. He acts as he always does. Except for the fact that he does not look at me. And I turn and go out again and wake everybody up the way Leo normally does- by running right in saying "Breakfast, guys" and Leo really just wakes up when I say this and looks sleepy and a little happy and sad at the same time. It is the first day for a long time my big brother- oh, pardon, my little brother- actually looks like he had gotten enough sleep. And I know that it will be the last night for a long time.

While I let Leo scramble eggs ("to improve your new skills"), I just sit there. It is quiet in the room except for the hissing sound of the oil in the pan. I know that normally I would be all over everyone, making jokes and laughing and everything. But I don't feel like it. And so, nobody says something. It makes me angry, though. I mean, what does this show me? That nobody talks to each other at all if it's not for yelling at me or chasing me?!  
And Donnie still does not look at me.

Then a little device on the table in front of him peeps and it is so quiet in the room Raph actually jumps when it does. "Whaddis t'is?" he asks. Don shruggs. "I made another test. The results are there" he whispers. I almost don't understand him but everyone stares at him. Raph actually has something like hope in his eyes. As much as I hate being the oldest; him being the youngest is even harder, I imagine. "So?" he asks.

And Don leaves and as he returns, burned eggs are on the table and it smells like ashes. And he has a paper in his hand and I look at my feet and eat the food even though it tastes even worse than it looks. Because I know what it will say.

* * *

Age confirm test - 2000

Results  
Listing brothers according to age

4. Michelangelo  
3. Donatello  
2. Raphael  
1. Leonardo

Examining results

[83zgrtgfv62r5r2898z4069uj0]

Results confirmed

* * *

Everyone stares at the paper. Don says something in geek-ish about how sometimes the circumstances can cause a test to be wrong and I am the only one who understands that he does not mean the first test with this. And finally Raph asks if this meant that he did not have to eat this "trash" and Leo gets mad about it and they fight and I say "Oh, no, so I am the baby once again?" and give them puppy eyes. And everything is back to normal again. And when Don finally looks me in the eyes I send him a silent "thank you" and he shakes his head so slight that nobody else notices.

I am Hamato Michelangelo.  
I am the youngest of four brothers.  
Four turtles. Living in the sewers. Seeing each other  
All the time. And I just learned how hard it really is to be the one  
To keep this mess that our life can be in order. And I know my brothers  
Better then ever. But I am nobody for a serious talk. I am the clown. And so all I  
Can do to show them is by doing what I usually do. By cheering them up. And so this is what I do.

"I love you guys" I say. And then I jump at Leo and the chair falls down and when Sensei comes into the kitchen we are all in one big huddle on the floor and shout and laugh and despite the feeling I have in my stomach it

just

feels

wonderful.

* * *

_So this is the story. I hope you liked it. Still thinking about a special bonus chappie.. But we'll see. What do you think?  
Bye guys! And may your family and friends be with you always!_


End file.
